Jason Moran
Monday, July 14, 2008
So, there's an African tribe that doesn't count using numbers (the Pirahas). They have a word that means "one or two", a word that means "four or five", and a word that means "many" or "a lot". In other words, they never directly count or say exact quantities of items.

This guy says it the best - and I know it's a really long quote to read through, but it's funny and interesting and it explains how baboons use the same counting system:
So, I grew up on a Bushveld Farm in Africa.

And, as one does on farms in the raw, one must maintain a system of control... over baboons.

Experience taught the farmers how to deal with baboons, as a necessity towards having a harvest- baboons are quite destructive you see.

The first method is by catching one using the 'pumpkin' trick. Quite easy:
Tie down a pumkin, make a hole in it just big enough for a baboon hand to slip in and wait.

The baboon will come along and stick his hand into the pumpkin, grab a handful and then try to remove his hand... but as an empty hand can go in, the clenched fist cannot get out... baboon does not want to let go... and is therefore stuck. Then you paint the fellow white, and let it go. The returning baboon will scare the living daylights out of his tribe and they will disappear for a while.

The other method... well... shoot a couple and the farm will be avoided for a LONG time.

It is not as easy as one would think to hunt baboons, firstly, as they have very effective watch..err.. watchmen (Bobejaan-brandwag) who will sound the alarm as soon as they spot people with guns. The trick is as follows (works for Maize fields):

If one man walks into the field, and hides, the baboons stay away.

If two goes in, and one comes out, they stay away.

If three goes in and two comes out... they stay away...

But if four goes in and three comes out... they seem to think that many went in and many left... all right to plunder. (ok, know it should be 'feed', but we live in a relative universe!)

We used to tease and say "1-2-many" is how baboons count. So, imagine my puzzlement when I saw that there are... well... humans living by a similar system!

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So, let me get this straight... are you trying to say that some Africans are like Baboons?

You are insinuating that they like to steal.

You are insinuating that they are afraid of whites.

You are insinuating that if you wield a shotgun, you can scare the whole gang off.

You are insinuating that they may be afraid of police officers (those with guns).
Speaking of... Detroit and W 73d was 'bad enough' but acceptable during daylight. 9:30 pm however, and things changed a bit.

Really nice place that Battery Park is though.
I'm insinuating nothing - I posted a comment made by a black man about killing baboons. Stop sipping on the haterade.
This just in!

On monday evening, Jason was spotted entering a Victoria's Secret location on the south-west side of town. Speculators wondered if he was buying a little something for his wife. He was seen leaving the store with the trademark alternating pink striped bag.

All of that wondering was put to rest late last night when Mr. Moran was seen walking around his neighborhood in only FitFlops and panties.
Let's look at this account from the lens of the Jesse Jackson African-American movement toward equality:

1. Obviously racist!
2. This man is comparing black people to baboons.
3. This man is really saying that he would like to shoot black people (ref. baboon comparison).
4. This man is suggesting accomplishing #3 by traveling in a group (or k/clan if you will).
5. This man's comments about the destructive tendencies of baboons, obviously, are a call for ethnic cleansing in America - namely New Orleans.
6. This man must be George Bush - proven by references to "the bush" as a symbol of his identity.

Further proof that the Bush administration was behind New Orleans; they caused that event!
I find this all extremely offensive.
Sammon strikes again!
Is there a reason you didn't show up to work today, son?
I think you're giving me too much credit moran. Although I did enjoy the Ivory post
You know, all this talk about baboons reminds me... every-once-in-a-while, when I take a look at my rearend in the mirror... it reminds me a little bit of a baboon's rear. I've looked at CVS for an over the counter remedy, but didn't really find anything that seemed like it might work. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Oh it itches!
Might I recommend this?
The cow says ...
Honey, how much makeup do I have to sell to pay off our house in the hamptons?
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