JMDC UpdatedI have finally updatedjason-moran.com. It was very long overdue. See, thing is, Kelly really digs spending time with me. I work and travel to and from said work, and that takes up most of my time. Outside of that I usually like to eat some sort of dinner. At night, not unlike many others, I sleep. I actually sleep at least 7 if not a full 8 hours each night. The extras that I regularly partake in are tanning and lifting at Bally's on many night of the week. At this point, I have something like 2.5 hours left before bed. I haven't even worked in yard/house work, events, weekly meetings (like church, alpha, homegroup, poker nights, etc). Needless to say, if Kelly and I even have enough time to pop in a movie before getting ready for bed then I consider that a full day.
Now, when am I supposed to do all of the things that I want to do? Not to sound too selfish, but I just plain like to do things. I like spending time "with the guys". I like video games. I like my personal space and time that I never get. I like messing around with my computer. I like updating my website and taking pictures and downloading cool stuff. Sure, I still get to do some of this stuff from time to time. It just doesn't seem like I ever have enough time to spend on the things I like. I'm also not complaining about Kelly. Kelly sometimes thinks that I would rather be doing any of those things than spending time with her. Not true. Ideally kelly would like to do maybe 10% of that stuff and we could share some time doing those things together. The thing is, I don't think she likes any of it. It makes it hard when everything that makes you happy makes your spouse not happy, because then (at least in my experience) you are also not happy.
I don't know, I'm just frustrated. I really need to figure out how to have a 27 hour day, because that would fix everything.
¶ 11:30 AM
Comments:
I heard about your first hour of freedom in six months before SammJo picked you up to go to the driving range. While I can't empathize with that (I do get the occasional hour to myself) I can empathize with having way too many interests and not enough time to persue any of them meaningfully.
Some things just have to go (video games?)
I recently packed up every piece of PS2 equipment I had and shipped it off to my bro-in-law's house.
My PC is a complete mess. I don't even have time to organize it or keep it in a healthy, running state.
Ah, but at what expense? Lately, every time I open my mouth I'm interrupted with a question like "You're not going to talk about golf, are you??"
This'll only last so long, until either a blow-up occurs or I can convince her to join me on the links.
Tomorrow I leave for vacation. Vacations have this way of pushing everything aside and allowing us to spend much time together that we usually can't. Of course, all I can think about at this time is how many rounds of golf I can get in while we're down there. It IS, afterall, the golf capitol of the US.
Oh but you see, us women don't get time to do what we like either..I am lucky to ge time to pee, and even then at that same exact moment I am peeing Merci barges in and has to pee too...and I bet Ethan is peeing his diaper at the same exact time also! Just think, how does dinner get cooked, clothes cleaned, house picked up and those little details taken care of...gee and on top of that I take care of 2 kids, Kelly works and does all or most of the house stuff. It goes both ways whiny boys!!!
Well, for the time being I'm going to have to find an alternate solution that does not involve babies. At least not one of my babies. Or, for that matter, one of Kelly's babies that might not be mine (since that would be weird).
I dunno about the freaky blog thing Andy - you could always start up a blog then not ever use it.
okay, heres what andy and i are. we are blog dilattantes. (i think that means dabblers). we dabble in other people's blogs. at least the past couple nites. see, our computer is in andy's clothes' room (hey, jason, don't u have your own clothes' room?) and so while andy picks out his clothes, i randomly read him blogs. once again, this is as of the past couple nites. but for some reason, in the car tonite, i was thinking about jason's blog topic - he and kelly not liking the same things - and thought - hmmm. sounds like a conversation i just had with the other person in my marriage. we've decided that we've "died to ourselves" more in the past year and a half then ever in our whole lives. just before we read your blog,jason, andy was telling me how much he's "given up" since being single - a variety of videogame/computergame sounding things like yours - and so i was then obliged to remind him that when i was single, i was not subject to the hourly demands of a two foot being. so apparantly thats how marriage has changed us.
You know..that is what marriage is all about giving up yourself to be one with someone else. Marriage and having kids is a great reminder of our relationship with GOD. I was telling Josh how I just was sick of Merci and couldn't take her attitude anymore...and he reminded me that God never gives up on us even though our attitudes are horrible at many times. I have learned ALOT about perseverance the last year. It makes you a much better person!
I'm glad I was able to start a popular topic. Bek, yes, I have my own clothes room like Andy. Luckily mine is the larger one, since I have more than Kelly does.
I guess sacrifice is just part of a marriage. I guess I'm not denying that, it's just that if Kelly enjoyed a little bit more of what I liked to do, then I wouldn't have to be working against the grain to do any of it. Hmm, we can all wish and hope.
Hmmm....another reason why I love being single :) Maybe I need a clothes room...I only have a closet. That might help me out so much. Ah...yes, I'll put my clothes room right next to my gigantic library and designated lounge area so that I can easily access my velvet smoking jacket and pipe that blows bubbles.